A Mover and a Shaker

I was driving home recently from a friend’s baby shower when a great worship song came on the radio.  That day had already been such a wonderful Sunday.  I went to church, spent my drive to the baby shower in prayer, caught up with some great friends, and I was filled with joy.  The song “Great I AM” came on the radio and I was just like, oh man this is such a great praise song describing the glory, power, and love of God.  I couldn’t help but sing…horribly, but I started to sing like never before….loud, proud and off key!   Then, the station started fading out, first with a little static blotting out a few words here and there.  Then, it started completely covering up the entire song.  At first, I was disappointed, but I thought, “you know what, I’m gonna keep singing.”  So I did.  And I immediately felt God throw in a little teaching moment as He reminded me of what I’d been struggling all week to do.  I could hear Him telling me in my soul that, “No matter how loud life gets with cultural noise, drama, craziness, busyness, sinfulness…..all the static that tries to quench His spirit within me, I need to rise above that and push upward to hear Him, praise Him, be bolder and louder than the noise.  No matter how much I think my voice may not be perfect or my day may not be how I think it should be, I still need to surpass the hectic noise and sing out in praise, being completely mindful of that fact that there is always more at work than what I can see in the world.

I was never more reminded of this when one day at work I was super busy and super stressed.  I couldn’t keep up, I was running behind, I was taking on hard cases and knew that it was all adding up to a 14 hour work day.   I got crabby and upset and focused on the hectic scene.  Somehow in that whole day I had missed a truly beautiful scene of the staff comforting, crying with, and sharing stories with a really wonderful client who had suddenly just lost her son.  I was drowning in myself as they were lifting her up.  I don’t want to be so caught up in the noise of the day that doesn’t really matter in the long run, and miss out on the beauty of what we are here to do…to love one another.  To look beyond the rush of the day and let God’s spirit show me what to be concerned about and what to be fired up about.  To be spent on the eternal and not consumed by the temporal.

I was reminded on this subject in my Bible readings this week.  Praise God for never growing tired of trying to get me to listen to Him! Over and over God was drawing me to places in scripture where He made the earth shake, and to where the temple veil was torn.  Of course the obvious one that puts the two together is Matthew 27:51 right after Jesus died: “At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom.  The earth shook, the rocks split and the tombs broke open.”  Then there is Acts 4:29-31 after Peter and some disciples had been released from jail and persecution from the priests and scribes, “’Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness.  Stretch out your hand to heal and perform signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant Jesus.’ After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly.”  And one more: Hebrews 10:19 “Therefore, brothers, since through the blood of Jesus we have confidence of entrance into the sanctuary by the new and living way he opened for us through the veil, that is, his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us approach with a sincere heart and in absolute trust.”

In the first 2 verses, God shook the earth with His mighty power only after there had been suffering.  He used the craziness, the brokenness, and what the “world” considered to be a loss, to glorify His name with all boldness shortly after.  What I’m trying to say is that there is a lot going on behind the scenes on your bad days.  I don’t want to be too busy being caught up in my own pity and sorrows to miss the earth quake shortly after.  I don’t want to miss that learning opportunity to break through the darkness to visualize and learn from the light.  I don’t want to miss the training on how to be fearless and bold in my faith.  Hebrews says that now, “let us approach with a sincere heart and in absolute trust.”  Now that Christ’s sacrifice had torn the veil between us and God in two, we are able to approach God and see beyond the ordinary bad day.  We are able to rise above the daily noise and see what God is up to.  We don’t have to recap our days by just saying, “yep, it was another bad, hard day. “.   Instead we can say, “yeah, today was hard, but God showed me this!”.  Every opportunity to learn more about God and grow closer to him, grow more mature in the faith, is a blowing force at the gates of Hell.  I believe it is powerful enough to cause a quake in the spiritual realms.  “See that you do not reject the one who speaks…..His voice shook the earth at that time, but now He has promised ‘I will once more shake not only earth but heaven.’”.   My prayer is this, that God shows us all to become “movers and shakers”….to move beyond what is seen and make waves in the unseen.

From the song, “Great I AM”:

“The Mountains shake before Him, the demons run and flee

At the mention of the name King of Majesty.

There is no power and Hell

Or any who can stand

Before the power and the presence of the Great I AM.”

Lessons at Wal-mart

I wrote this in my journal after an experience leaving Wal-mart and thought it was something to be shared. Enjoy:

"Dear God,
I thank you for speaking to me.  I love when you guide me to "pay attention" moments.  I was just praying about a situation I came across a few days ago that as soon as it happened, I knew there was a deeper meaning to be found.  I was coming out of Wal-mart and it was nightime and a little rainy.  I just stepped out of the doors.  I see this little boy, probably about 2-3 years old, sitting on his daddy's shoulders, and the boy is just looking at every person in site waving and saying, "HI! HI! HI! HI! HI!" over and over again with a huge smile on his face.  He was so cute, I couldn't help but smile and wave.
I was just praying, currently on a flight to Florida, and that scene came back so I decided to pray about it.  You started feeding me with insight and I love it!  First, you asked me to notice how i felt: I felt overjoyed, it made my heart leap with happiness that this little boy was so excited to say Hi to me.  I felt acknowledged and encouraged.  Then you turned me towards focusing on how this little boy was able to do this.  You spoke about his innocence, no fear of rejection because he was clearly loved by his family and society had not yet engraved rejection into his heart....he had no walls built up.  He valued and respected every person he saw and wanted to know them or at least let them know they were important enough to be greeted.  Then you asked me, "and how was he positioned?".  He was on top of his father, fully supported, legs off the ground and dangling, clinging to his shoulders with one hand.  What a great picture of fearlessness and love.  You, as our Father, give us Your support, Your shoulders, every day.  But how often do I actually climb aboard?  How often do I join in on what you are already doing, how You are already moving during that day?  What holds me back from talking to a neighbor, stranger, or acquaintance is fear of rejection that they may thinking I'm weird because i'm smiling and saying hi to them.  Or is it because I'm scared I wouldn't be able to carry out the conversation.  Why try because it's so much more comfortable on the ground level that I'm used to.  It's way less scary than being lifted up and exposed (vulnerable to others).  God, you are so good.  You loved your children so much that You yearn for us to hop on Your shoulders every day.  You want us to fearlessly trust You so that we can acknowledge the goodness of others by even a simple act of greeting.  You will use us when we jump on board, fully supported and guided by You.  I pray that I can daily allow You to sweep me off my feet and allow them to dangle: allowing You full power to take me wherever and to whoever You would lead knowing that despite rejection, pain, or any misfortune that may come my way, I can find rest and comfort by gripping on to your shoulders.  Did I mention it was also dark outside, but that little guy shone as bright as the day.  Warm, genuine love will always cast out darkness.  That little boy's boldness and excitement for welcoming others shone a great warm light into me that left me giddy.  I pray that my life may mimic that little boys' fearlessness and love.  Thank you for never ceasing to want to teach me.  I love learning from You.
Love always,
Your Heidi"

Nothing Compares....to You!

                Do you ever feel like something is so extremely simple, yet so profound.  What God is teaching me now is exactly that.  About two months ago, I heard the Third Day song which goes, “Nothing compares to the greatness of knowing you, Lord” over and over.  I had heard this song numerous times throughout my life but in this particular instance on this specific day, the song grabbed me and stopped me dead in my tracks.  I said, Yeah…that’s so true! NOTHING compares to knowing Jesus and I thought, “how am I currently living my life in accordance with this truth?”.  Am I living my life as if nothing truly compares to spending time with God, reading His word, asking the spirit to move in my life and out through my actions?  Or am I getting lost in the noise of today’s culture?

                Jesus tells us that the greatest commandment is to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” (Matthew 22:37).  Now I had skipped over this verse many many times before saying…yeah yeah I know I know…but when I really dove deep into this verse, I fell short in oh so many ways!  I felt God leading me to do a little exercise: I wrote on a piece of paper and circled “heart”, “soul”, and “mind”.  Then, around each item I wrote the answer to the question “What is holding me back from loving God with my WHOLE heart….mind…soul”?.  This was truly an eyeopener…..my heart was held back by things like fear, my own desires, what society says my desires should be, my own way.  My soul held back by distrust, distractions of daily life, little “annoyances”, bitterness.  My mind held back by (oh, so many things!) lack of boldness in Christ, my way, gossip, worrying, insecurities, tv/entertainment, lust.  Then beside each of these things I wrote what I felt God wanted me to do to rid myself of these hurdles…..and you know what it all boiled down to: spending time in prayer with God and reading His word.  It’s so simple, yet so many of us will fight everything and everyone to have that time to watch “Dancing with the Stars” or stand in line to see the latest “Twilight” movie but we won’t lift a hand in battle for time with our God.  And don’t get me started on how many hours I waste watching The Real Housewives of Orange County! But, you see, when you start to know God, He will show you how to love Him.  He will guide you by calling you to rid yourself of distraction and draw joy and strength from the source.  He will be your Shepherd and you will be his lamb and nothing “will snatch (us)out of (his) Hand” (John 10: 29).  

                If you are wholeheartedly seeking God, I promise you He will convict you sincerely of how you spend your time.  Recently, we had a big storm.  I made sure to unplug my computer, my phone….but didn’t really think about my tv or playstation.  They were plugged into a surge protector anyway.  I woke up the next morning, tv dead.  My playstation which was plugged into the same surge protector was absolutely fine.  Nothing else got zapped except my tv.  Now I thought I was doing good with giving up so much tv, but when I was completely without it, I realized just how much I had been using it to fill some empty space.  All of a sudden, I had more time to spend with God, reading His word, catching up with friends, going outside and running.  God took out my tv to show me, “yes, you were doing good by cutting back on tv, but now you see that you have more to give up.” (Just so happened that this same week, the women’s study I was on this exact same “tv” topic….God knows that sometimes has to hit me 2..3..times before I fully get it…but He does…….He is SOOO good!)

                We were made in the “image and likeness” of God and therefore were designed to crave our Creator.  Pastor Joe once said that if you aren’t craving God, then you are filling yourself up with something else.  What is that something else for you?  Is it money, fame, alcohol, tv, a relationship,  lust?  Is it yourself?  God has had a funny way recently of saying, “I love you, but it’s not about you!”  There have been many a time when I have gotten in the way of my own knowledge of God. 

                What is it that you are placing as the top priority in your life?  We were created to love God, then love one another.  If God is not at the top of your priority list, then I challenge you to be honest, find out what is, and make a move to put your relationship with God first.  If you don’t, you will continue to come up empty in your search for fulfillment and joy in life.  BUT, Cool things will happen if you do.  He’s gonna show you just how beautiful you are and that no matter what sins you’ve committed, He has always and will always love you because He died so that those sins could be washed away.  He loves you so much that He’s also gonna show you where you could use a little work (very humbling but in the end rewarding I promise!).  Then, He’s gonna show you how He wants to use your life.  When you move towards God, He’s gonna start moving in your life.  He’s gonna start using you and let me tell you that nothing compares to the joy of being a servant of the most High. 

                Just last week, the same Third Day song was playing on the radio.  I was listening to the chorus as they sang “Nothing compares to the greatness of knowing you Lord” when I heard in my heart God say, “Heidi, I cannot wait until you truly believe this.”  In my heart I know God was lovingly telling me that although I still have much work to do, I can believe in the hope that one day I will be able to stand up and say with sincere honesty that NOTHING compares to knowing my God.  I can’t wait either, God! 

“It is not that I have already taken hold of it or have already attained perfect maturity, but I continue my pursuit in hope that I may possess it, since I have indeed been taken possession of by Christ.”Philippians 3:12

13.1?...maybe, you should sweat the small stuff!

                The air was thick with excitement, adrenaline, nervous chatter, and the sound of “The Black-eyed Peas’ ‘Tonight’s gonna be a good night’”.  I looked down at my bib number and could not believe I was standing there, just seconds away from starting a 13.1 mile run.  It seemed like only yesterday that I was filling out the Half Marathon application online.  However, it was not yesterday, it was early August when I agreed to sign up and run the race with a co-worker.  I printed off the training schedule and was happy to see that I had about 2 weeks before training began.  The schedule quickly reminded me of my marathon training.  For 5 months, I ran 4 times a week with longer runs getting up into the high teens (14,15,18 miles).  I never missed a run, and it was amazing to see what a trained body can do.  I remember later into the training, looking at the schedule, breathing a sign of relief and saying, “oh, it’s only a 12 mile run this weekend, that’s easy.”  Then I would go on that run and find myself barely tired at the end.  Training for that marathon was by far the most dedicated I’ve been to anything in my life.  As a result, my marathon was fairly easy.  I never hit a “wall”, I never walked, and I felt fairly good the entire time. (well, except for after I stopped when my legs wanted to cramp up into tiny little balls causing me to walk for another hour after the race lol).  Because I strictly followed the training schedule, I finished 26.2 miles in 4 hours 45minutes (11 minute miles) without any injuries.  Pretty cool what the body can do when you give it the appropriate training huh!?

                So, looking at half that distance, 13.1miles, did not seem all that bad.  Especially since I’ve been known to go run 5 miles randomly and be ok.  As the weeks progressed and I got into my training weeks, I started running a couple miles here and a couple miles there.  I would get home tired from work and would promise myself I would do my missed run tomorrow.  Well the tomorrow runs never came.  In fact, I didn’t run for a whole month before I was standing at that 13.1mile start line!  I bet you can guess what happens next.

                It was about 50-55 degrees and sunny…awesome!  The winds were about 20-25mph…not so awesome and most of the run was completely out in the country.  The first 4 miles I felt great, nice music, strong legs, wind blocked by local houses….nice run.  Then I entered the country with nothing to block the wind.  Mile 6 was with the wind.  The mile 7 sideways wind kept trying to pull my ear buds out.  Then came mile 8…..nothing but heading straight into the wind.  There was a lady in front of me walking and even though I was still running, I couldn’t catch up to her! I gave in to the wind and started walking.  This repetition started happening: run…walk…run….walk…shove the ear buds back in…run…walk.  At one point, I shut off the music, took out the ear buds and said, “God, what do you want to teach me….I know there’s a lesson in here somewhere, what is it?”. (kinda bossy of me I know!)  Then, I started praying, “Lord, you made these winds and I believe you have the power to make them stop.  Could you please just let them stop for just another couple hours while I finish this race?”.  Do you think they stopped?....Nope.  And by no way is this a reflection of inadequate power of our God.  Sometimes God allows the wind to batter us until we are broken.  We may be begging for the strong winds of our lives to stop, but God’s plan is higher and mightier than our cries.  Trust me, He hears us, but He knows that sometimes we need to go through the valley first before we can stand in awe on that holy mountain.  For example, in this case, if God would have ceased the winds, I would have missed the main message He had for me on that day.  God was exhausting me in order to teach me something. 

                So I continued the struggle, I didn’t give up despite the continued presence of the “Salvation Army” van riding back and forth picking up runners who have had enough.  Which reminds me: sometimes when you are battling a fierce wind in your life…you may see an easy way out…one that goes against truth and against the life you know God is calling you to lead.  Whatever you do don’t get in that van and believe the lie….it is much better to struggle with Christ by your side, then to get comfortable and complacent apart from Christ.  “Consider it joy when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces perseverance” James 1: 2-3.  And let me tell you that Paul was absolutely right when he said that “the sufferings of this present time are noting compared to the glory that is to be revealed to us” Romans 8:18.

                At mile 11 my physical body shut down.  My calves wanted to completely tear apart, my knee was shot, my hip felt like I had a knife wedged in it.  I walked the last 2 miles until right before the finish line.  When I crossed, my body was done for.  One and a half years ago I had run a full marathon, and now after running just half of that, I couldn’t even find the energy or strength to drive home!

                What I learned was this: sometimes God, because He is all powerful, allows us to do miraculous things in an instant.  But more times, He demands us to be faithful.  Because I was faithful to my marathon schedule, God allowed me to finish with relative ease and peace.  I was faithful in the big race, but I was faithless in the small.  My pride told me a lie and I listened to it: “because this race is smaller, you should be just fine, you can let your training slide a little. You’re busy, you have better things to do. What can it hurt?”  Well, it hurt a lot!

                God demands us not only to be faithful in the big things in our lives, but also in the small day to day things because each “yes” to God builds up our and endurance and our faith so that we can be fruitful and we can move mountains.  We must not think, “I got this”.  God said, “No, Heidi, You don’t ‘got this!’ and now I’m going to show you why.”  If you don’t allow God into your small plans and the small aspect of your life, why would he trust you with the big?  “He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much” Luke 16:10.  Those small, faithless acts may end up causing more hurt than good.  I learned that today, one week after the race as I stepped out for just a short 2 mile run.  About two blocks into the run, my calves began to burn and I had to stop.  I seriously had injured myself last week and my body told me today that it needs more time to heal.  Just 3 days after my marathon, I went for the same short run and had the most powerful and exhilarating run of my life! I felt like I was superwoman, that’s how strong I felt.  With the right training, the right mindset, and a devoted prayer and relationship with Jesus, you can and you will bring Glory to the Kingdom as He makes you stronger than you ever thought possible by His grace pouring out to his faithful servant.

                God is so good to us, and He always wants to teach us something.  I wonder how many times I’ve missed invaluable lessons all because I don’t truly believe God is crucial in the small stuff. 

                I’ll leave this with a really cool song that I rediscovered as I was exhausting my body on the road! Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aaUVHVtHqc

Falling For Him

Are you giddy with expectation of me gushing over a new man and telling you every bit of detail from the first flower he gave me to the ridiculous endearing nicknames we have made for one another?  I encourage you to get EXCITED!  Keep reading! The love story is at the end!!! ;)

                I have been reminded recently of how sometimes God has to knock me down, flat on my face, to grab my attention.  I was venturing out on my longest run of the year feeling completely pumped and ready to go.  I carb loaded at breakfast, gulped down enough water, even dug through my closet to find my fancy Nike official running tank top, and downloaded some new tunes to my I pod.  Running to me has always been a stress relief and a time to put on some Christian tunes and just get out there with God and be free.   But I did something on this particular day that I’ve never done before.  I got out about 100 feet and turned off the music and prayed.  I said, “Lord, I want this run to be about You.  I know there’s a lot of things that happen during my day where forget to think of you or don’t think to include you, but I want this run to be dedicated to You.  I pray that I may have the strength to complete it but also the willingness to let you be a part of it.  I give you this run to use to show me who You are.” (Warning: don’t pray this prayer if you want a nice calm boring run).

                I turn my music back on and start enjoying the run.  I’m about a half a mile in when before I know what even happened, I’m laying flat out on the sidewalk.  I literally tripped over a sidewalk and bit the dust…hard!  Maybe there was a little rise up in the concrete but in all honesty, I may be thinking that just to make myself feel better for tripping over a subdivision side walk! I seriously have never tripped before on a run.  I instantly felt humiliation, then recovered with laughter. I can only imagine how awkward that fall must have looked.  I wipe off some blood from my scraped knee and continue on when suddenly a picture of the fallen Jesus, cross in tow, surfaces in my mind.

                The Bible tells us that after being scourged, beaten, and mocked, Jesus was forced to carry His cross to Calvary.  During that journey, He fell.  This is extremely significant.  As I recently learned, it’s humiliating to fall.  Our God, who in an instant could have had the strength of a hundred men if he wished, humbled himself to be a bruised and broken man falling under the weight of some wood that would serve as His execution framework.  Our God fell.  I love that.  I have a God who is so powerful He can move mountains and calm seas, and yet He allows himself to fall so that we can have a God who knows exactly how heavy the weight of the world can be on His shoulders.  We have a God who knows probably even better than most of us, what it feels like to be humiliated, betrayed and what it feels like to be so worn out that He can’t even keep himself upright.  He chose to fall because He needs us to know that no matter how far down we get, He’s been there.

                Do you have the weight of the world on your shoulders right now?  Do you have something you’ve been hiding…maybe you are ashamed and think no one would understand.  Or maybe you think you have fallen so far down that you don’t think even a miracle could pull you out of the hole you’ve dug.  Maybe it’s an addiction, a bad relationship, a past hurt, a family member, a friend, a grudge or just plain loneliness that keeps tripping you over and over and over again.  I need you to know that You are never alone.  You have a God who knows what it’s like to fall, and the best news is, you also have a God who knows what it’s like to rise.  I promise you that He wants you to rise and I promise that He will help you do so.  He loves you so much that he would fall for you and die for you.  His love is so vast and perfect and beautiful that He wants to take you by the right hand and wrap you in His blanket of peace.  You must make the decision to turn to Him.

                But that’s not all!  There’s even more good news.  I absolutely believe the first step is establishing a personal relationship with Jesus and calling out to Him.  I also believe He doesn’t call us to do this completely alone.  You see, after some falls, the Romans assign a man named Simon to help Jesus carry the cross the rest of the way.  Our own God didn’t choose to carry the cross completely alone.  What better way to show us how much our God values the idea of “carrying our crosses” together.  He has a desire for us to be in fellowship with other believers.  He knows He is all we need to go on, but He also knows the limitations of our physical and emotional bodies and has felt the concept of “strength in numbers.” 

                If you’re thinking right now, that’s good and all, but what if you don’t have any friends that would love me like that.  All my friends have betrayed me and left me here alone and afraid.  You know that church you keep passing on your way to work?  Or that nagging thought in your head that keeps asking you to google search churches in the area?  You know that co-worker who keeps asking you to tag along with her to Sunday service?  That’s God.  He’s asking you to turn to Him.  He knows you are fallen and He knows that this probably wasn’t the first fall and it most certainly will not be the last.  He may even use a random literal fall on an ordinary run to make You think of Him!  He promises  that “ this momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison.” 2 Corinthians 4:17.  The weight of your burdens and the pain they cause will be transformed by His most holy love.  What are you waiting for?!  Run into the most loving arms of Jesus…..but watch out for those pesky sidewalks! =)   

                Ok, ok, back to the love story I mentioned in the beginning……I moved to Sandwich, IL not knowing quite what to expect.  I knew no one, but during my time with God I felt Him telling me I was coming here not only for work, but for the people.  I listened to the “nagging” in my heart which led me to attend 2 churches.  In the beginning I took the first step alone.  Since my initial “move” towards God’s nagging, I have met some pretty amazing people who not only add to the enjoyment of my life with friendship, but also hold me accountable in and strengthen my walk with Christ.  He has also helped me strengthen friendships I already have!  My love story is this; I have a God who loves me enough to say, “Heidi, if you listen to my still small voice and follow where I call you to go, I will provide for you more than you could ever imagine.” So that first flower He gave me, was the beautiful first daisy I noticed which reflected his awesomeness.  And that nickname He calls me is "beloved". He surprises me every day with the love He pours out for me.  One small “yes”, turned into a huge Hallelujah! =)    

Let me tell you about my friend, Judith......

                A couple Tuesdays each month I drive to a Senior Center in Joliet, pack my front seat with coolers filled with food, and drop off meals to the elderly in Joliet through the program Meals on Wheels.   Little by little I got to know the people I was delivering meals to.  And little by little, one of them in particular started to feel like she was a blessing that was Heaven sent.  Her name is Judith.

                On one particular Tuesday a while ago, I had just ended a relationship and quit my first adult job all in one week.  I was scared, unsure of everything, and feeling pretty down.  Trudging through the snow, I found my way to Judith’s side door and as usual, within seconds of my knock she was right there.  Her smile upon seeing me warmed my heart as she spoke, “Oh, Heidi! It’s so good to see your smiling face, you are just so young and beautiful.”  I thanked her for the kind words and she thanked me for the delivery.   She wished me her usual ‘God bless’ and I was on my way.  I got back in my car and found myself unexpectedly crying.  At a moment in time where I felt far from beautiful, Judith spoke the words that touched my soul.  She brought me great joy and reminded me that no matter what is going on in my life, I can still be beautiful to others, but especially to my Heavenly Father.  In that moment, she mimicked God’s love, showing me that no matter what may be going on in my life, God’s love for me never fails. I know in my heart, God used her to put a smile back on my face.

                More recently, I was dropping off a meal to a new location in a not so great part of town.  The instructions read to call the client or knock on the side door with the meal.  I first knocked on the side door…no answer.  So I ran back to my car, grabbed my phone and called the number.  A lady answered and told me to meet her at the side door.  I grabbed her meal, held my phone, and made sure to lock my car door since I knew this was a rough area.  Small chat ensued, then I was back at my car placing my hand in my pocket for my keys…….I bet you can guess what happened from here.   My keys were staring at me from the front seat with the doors locked, windows up.  Whoops.    

                It was one of those moments when you are pure helpless and you have no one else to blame but yourself.  Luckily I still had my phone and about an hour later a locksmith came and unlocked my car.  I still had 4 meals to deliver and now they were late.  I felt horrible...super super bad.  These are older people who are set on their specific delivery times.  I just messed that all up.  I prayed in the car that I would be shown mercy, and I should have known more than anyone, Judith would be there to do just that.  I arrived at her door and she had the most concerned look on her face.  I started apologizing and she interrupted me telling me how she had called the senior services center knowing that today was my day to deliver and she was worried about me.  I told her what happened and she told me to stop apologizing, that she herself had locked her keys in the car with the engine running at one time.  She showed me immediate mercy, love and fellowship. I was beyond relieved. 

                In that moment, Judith was what I needed.  I just wanted someone to tell me, “I forgive you. Yes, you screwed up, you aren’t perfect but you’d be crazy to think I’d hold this against you.”  Without that mercy I would have still felt agitated with myself and still would have been down on myself.  But after a few kind words from Judith, all the anxiety and fear was washed away.  She showed me a great example of God’s love that day by easily forgiving my mistake, and also being concerned that the path I was meant to take was altered.  You see, God has a path planned for each and every one of us to take.   Sometimes along the way we get side tracked by sin or our own imperfections slow us down or lead us somewhere we know we probably shouldn’t be.  But the great thing about God is that like Judith, He is always right there standing at the door waiting for our knock.  "So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” (Luke 11:9).  God’s love is waiting for you in some very unexpected ways.  All you gotta do is open the door!

I don't wanna gain the whole world and lose my soul

             This morning I was listening to my Pandora Jeremy Camp Station and all of a sudden I heard “a beat” and rapping, and I thought to myself, “what in the world is this song doing on this station”.  Then I heard the familiar melody of “Lose my Soul” by Toby Mac.  Now it made sense.  I hadn’t heard this song in years! It definitely got me thinking (and helped me get my groove on!lol…thank goodness I live alone ha!).  Then, I went to Church in which the sermon kept my thought process going, forcing me to try and write it all down. 

                The main point in Toby Mac’s song is: “I don’t want to gain the whole world, and lose my soul”.  It’s a mantra that is sung over and over again, and I believe that we should always stop and reflect on our own lives to see if we are letting the glitter of “this world” blind us of the things eternal.  Are we so focused on our jobs and getting promotions that we are sacrificing time with God and our families? Are we so wrapped up with material things that we are putting in late hours at work in order to buy the latest and greatest tv’s, clothing, cars, sofas…whatever it may be?  Are we letting the busyness of being “here” and making appearances “there” crowd our lives with so much clutter and a desire to increase in popularity among men that we can no longer see the image of our loving Savior crying out to come and seek Him?  Are we putting all our effort into a new boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and turning to them for fulfillment instead of realizing God is the only one who can ever truly fill our hearts first, thus allowing His love to trickle down into our precious relationship and bless it?  Jesus makes it crystal clear:   "No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and wealth” (Matthew 6:24). 

            Are you loving the world so much, that you are turning away from the heavenly perfect love that was made for you?  There is hope and there is help for you.  Church this morning seemed to fit perfectly with how to get back to loving God and step away from self-absorption and worldly absorption.  It’s funny how the Holy Spirit makes things fit so perfectly together sometimes huh? So I’m going to write about what the Pastor talked about in Church this morning.  I cannot take any credit for this, it’s all his message which I’m sure in turn he would give God all the glory for the words that he spoke this morning.

            First, you must restore your relationship with God.  The best way to do this is to set aside quiet time with Him.  Pour out your heart to Him.  Open up His Word and allow it to flow into your soul.  It also helps to talk to others about where you are at and where you want to go.  Where 2 or more are gathered in His name, He is surely there!  Once you are living in close relationship with God, you will begin to see how things of this world become less and less appealing.  You will begin to see how some of our culture’s lies that supposedly lead to happiness are only dark holes that suck you in and leave you feeling lost inside.  Second, restore your relationships with those close to you.  Build one another up and help each other walk closely with God.  Third, restore your relationship with those far from you like with volunteering or mission work.  As you draw closer and closer to God and to your brothers and sisters in Christ, you will be overflowing with love that You cannot help but desire to perform acts of charity. 

            God wants to give you the pure joy and the unfailing hope that Jesus earned for you on the cross. He wants you to set down those files and paperwork on Sunday morning and come know Him through the Church.  He wants you to turn off The Bravo’s Real Housewives at night(yes, this truly applies to myself!) and tune into quiet time with Jesus.  A lot of people reading this are thinking, “I’m too busy, I just don’t have enough time”.  So start slow, spend 5 minutes a day alone with God. I dare you! You will be amazed at where it will take you!  Our souls were made to love God.  Nothing else on this earth will satisfy that hunger deep within each one of us…nothing.  My prayer tonight is that you take the time to walk with Him.  Let Him show you the ways to everlasting joy instead of following the lies of the world.  I pray you lose your grasp on this world and hold tight to the hands that loved you before the world ever began. 

           

“Father God, I am clay in your hands,
Help me to stay that way through all life's demands,
'Cause they chip and they nag and they pull at me,
And every little thing I make up my mind to be,
Like I'm gonna be a daddy whose in the mix,
And I'm gonna be a husband who stays legit,
And I pray that I'm an artist who rises above,
The road that is wide and filled with self love,
Everything that I see draws me,
Though it's only in You that I can truly see that its a feast for the eyes- a low blow to purpose.
And I'm a little kid at a three ring circus.

I don't want to gain the whole world, and lose my soul,
Don't wanna walk away, let me hear the people say.
I don't want to gain the whole world, and lose my soul,
Don't wanna walk away, let me hear the people say.


America has no more stars, now we call them idols,
You sit idle, While we teach prosperity,
The first thing to prosper should be inside of me.”