Saturday, September 25, 2010

Oh, How He loves us so

"He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all"

I sat down on my bed tonight to pray...i haven't finished yet. I was overwhelmed with the need to here we go...
This song has been on my heart all week. I discovered it last year and was amazed by it, but slowly with school and life i let go of it and forgot about it.  I rediscovered it this week as I was looking for more songs to run to....and i came across the video on youtube about the story of this song..... John Mark Mcmillian wrote it the night he found out he had lost his best friend in a tragic car accident.  He was so angry and confused and was suffering so much...asking God why this happened and he wrote this song realizing that no matter how messed up he felt right now... God loved him no less.....His love is always infinite.... and he found peace in that.
And i was sitting here tonight praying and asking God for forgiveness for my pride, my selfishness,  my inabilities to resist temptation and this chorus seemed to leap right into my soul.  And for the first time I felt more than a superficial meaning of this song.... I felt the real, raw meaning of this song first hand.  Such a simple chorus, yet so becomes not just another chorus in another song, but a prayer of great truth.  I felt my afflicitions "eclipsed with glory" as I realized how "great His affections are for me".  This song is like Jesus crying out to the repentant sinner, "I hear you, I've been tempted, and I know it's not easy... but please, for now, just look at my hands....scarred by love....feel the immense depth of my love for you.... on the cross I knew all your sins....I knew the many times you would deny me....I knew the many times  you would give evil a second look.....yet I still chose to die for you.  You can't fully imagine the entirety of my love for you on this earth...but I need you to trust me when I say that I will never love you love for you is constant and it is all you need to find peace and joy in this world.  There is no sin that is unforgivable...the cross took care of them all...just come to me and you will find will find love."

Oh, how He loves us......

"We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us."

Friday, September 3, 2010

love, fear, punishment.....i'm confused....

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment, and so one who fears is not yet perfect in love." - 1 John 4:18

I've been wondering off and on about this verse for about 4 months now.  When i first read it, I couldn't wrap my mind around it....and i still am a bit unsure about it...but I felt the need to write about here it goes (bear with me guys)

This verse is proof that I will never be perfect in love on this earth.  It's hard not to fear.  First time reading this I tried to make sense of it through romantic love...and there was no all my past relationships I had definitely feared starting to love, there were moments of fear during love, and there was fear upon the end of love.  Then I looked beyond romantic love to friendship and familial love and fears creep in there too.  I mean, there is no doubt that I fear when a loved one goes into the hospital.  No one wants anything bad to happen to someone they love and for sure wouldn't want them to pass away although God would probably have us look at death from another beautiful and the final passageway to His Glory(but that's a completely different discussion that I'll save for another day...).  And speaking of His Glory, what about love of God.  The Bible tells us numerous times that fear of God is to be what's with that?
Then I started thinking...well who really lived this type of perfect love?  Immediately Mary at the foot of the cross popped into my head.  Not too much is said about Mary during the Passion of Jesus...but sometimes I try to imagine her suffering at the doubt that her heart is pierced with daggers seeing her only Son, her Lord, dying on a cross.... no doubt she is weeping.... but I do doubt that she is fearful.  Mary's love for Jesus was perfect.  She trusted God's will with 100% of all her being.  This immense trust can only be derived from perfect love...a perfect love which tosses fear to the wind.  A perfect love found in the heart of the Mother looking up at her Son and her Savior in complete obedience and trust in her God.  (what an incredible woman!!! )
Then I got to thinking, "how can I love like this?"..."is it even possible"....and I believe the answer is no, definitely not alone, definitely not without God's grace. Somehow fears always creeps in...  I think this perfect love can only come about through complete unity with God.  I think perfect, nonfearing love is what makes Heaven so special.  It is there that our unity with God , that was lost during the fall (our 'punishment'), will be restored with perfect, fearless love.

 But let me now read you the verse found before this passage "God is love, and whoever remains in love remains in God and God in him. In this is love brought to perfection among us, that we have confidence on the day of judgement because as he is, so are we in this world."  I believe the key here is Jesus.  He is the more obvious living being that perfectly loved.  And he is our mediator who, on the day of judgement, can perfect our love and bind us completely with God.

 I think we should always strive to love with complete trust in God and that we should pray to love like God.   But just because love may never be completely fearless and perfected while on earth, that makes it no less beautiful.  Cuz I think God still smiles down on our not so perfect hearts.  I think He tears up like a proud Father when we tell Him how much we adore Him and how much we love Him.  I think he dances at weddings and chokes up at a kind hand given to a stranger. And I think He embraces our hearts when we do fall into fearfullness.
Now imagine how wonderful and amazing being in love feels here on almost can't think of anything better.... but multiply that time infinity and you have the love we will feel when we stand face to face with Jesus!  I can't even imagine how beautiful that will feel....but that's Heaven and I pray that we ALL will experience it as our love is made perfect through God who is, above all things,! =)